Mirrors don’t break but they bend what they show me
I look at a stranger, he’s staring back slowly
Names fade out but the feeling doesn’t leave
Like a fire in the walls that I still gotta breathe
Empty room talking, it knows what I’ve done
Says “you’re not that man”, but I’m not the new one
Still got the echo of who I’ve been
Still feel it coursing under my skin
Hope don’t land, it just passes me by
Like it’s checking my pulse, finds nothing inside
Every crack, yeah the light gets in
And I feel something move where the numbness had been
I’m learning how to be again
but it doesn’t feel right yet
Got pieces in my hands
But I don’t know where they fit
No map, no sign, no end I can see
Just a version of me tryna outrun me
I’ve been putting miles between then and now
but it follows me home, yeah it figures out how
Trying to let go
but it won’t let me in
Feel every scar like it’s pulling me back
Like it knows where I’m going and lays out the track
Stillness comes but it doesn’t stay long
Desire creeps in, yeah, it's come'n on strong
Hands used to shake when I reached for the dark
Now they shake when I’m reaching for something with truth
Ain’t that a twist? Ain’t that a lie?
I don’t trust peace,
but I’m giving it time
Faith gets blurry at the edge of the frame
But the shadow don’t hit like it did in my veins
Every step, yeah I feel the cost
But I’m not who I was and I’m not who I want
I’m learning how to be again
still don’t know who I am
Got hope in my chest
but it’s running out of time
No map, no road, just a shot in the dark
Tryna build something whole from a permanent mark
Yeah I put distance between then and now
but it’s louder some nights when there’s nobody ‘round
Trying to let go
but it won’t let me in
If I fall
I don’t know if I get back clean
If I break
I don’t know what that makes of me
All these ghosts
yeah they talk like they know me
Say “you’ll always be that”
like it’s all that I’ll ever be
But I’m still here
and I hate that it matters
and I love that it hurts
and I don’t have the answer
I’m learning how to be again
Got pieces in my hands
Fighting to hold my grip
No map, no end, no clear way through
Just waking up every day choosing not to
Still putting miles between then and now
but it’s sitting right here but I don't know how
Trying to let go
maybe that’s letting me in
Stranger in my skin
but I stayed
but I stayed